In a medium saucepan, bring 2 cups of water to a boil.
Add the sliced okra and cook for about 5-7 minutes, or until the okra is tender. Remove from heat and set aside.
In a large mixing bowl, combine the cornmeal with 2 cups of water. Stir until smooth to create a slurry.
In a large saucepan or pot, bring the remaining 2 cups of water to a boil. Reduce the heat to low.
Gradually add the cornmeal slurry to the boiling water, stirring constantly to prevent lumps from forming.
Add the cooked okra along with its cooking water to the pot.
Stir continuously with a wooden spoon or a "cou cou stick" (a special wooden utensil) for about 10-15 minutes, or until the mixture becomes thick and smooth.
Add the butter, salt, and freshly ground black pepper. Stir well to combine.
In a small saucepan, heat the vegetable oil over medium heat. Add the finely chopped onion and sauté until golden brown.
Sprinkle the flour over the onions and stir to coat evenly.
Gradually add the water, stirring constantly to prevent lumps. Cook until the sauce thickens.
Season with salt and pepper to taste.
Transfer the Cou Cou to a serving dish and shape it into a mound using a wet wooden spoon or cou cou stick.
Enjoy your meal!